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Woes of a Web Designer

David — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 02:13:24 +0000

"I don't have the internet."

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Woes of a Web Designer

David — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 06:17:17 +0000

Contrary to popular belief, there is no magical "fix your poorly taken photo" button. If your photo looks terrible in your hands, it's going to look terrible when it's scanned.

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Woes of a Web Designer

David — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 05:30:00 +0000

"I thought you were giving me the Internet? How can you give me a webpage and not give me the Internet!?"

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CSS Tables are not the answer

David — Thu, 07 May 2009 00:18:30 +0000

Just because you're using CSS-tables doesn't mean you're making tableless design.
Lately I've seen so much praise for this stupid technique and it really baffles me.
Do people really think that designers ditched tables because the tag was named table?

This:
<div style="display: table"> <div style="display: table-row"> <div style="display: table-cell"></div> </div> </div>

Is in no way better than this:
<table> <tr> <td></td> </tr> </table>

In fact it's worse. It's longer to write out, meaning it takes longer to implement and makes your file sizes larger, which in turn takes the files longer to download.
It's also less semantic. If you have to use a table-based design, use a table. Don't use divs and then make them act like tables.

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Stupid terms

David — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 09:37:59 +0000

I was asked recently if I believed in "Climate Change".
I said, "Yes, yes I do. It was warm yesterday, and today it is quite chilly. There are quite obvious differences in climate between Summer and Winter, not to mention differences between places closer to the equator and those further from it and they each have their own varying climate changes depending on the time of year. So yes, I believe in 'Climate Change.'"
I was then promptly told I had "no fucking clue what I was talking about" and to "read a newspaper sometime." I told them to read a fucking dictionary.
What happened to "Global Warming"? Why did people stop using that term? Was it not PC enough? Was it not ambiguous enough? Seriously. Global Warming is pretty straight-to-the-point. How climate change suddenly became a replacement is beyond me.

A similar thing happened in High School when I was asked if I believed in "Intelligent Design."
After thinking on it for a few minutes I came back to him and told him I did, believing full well that intelligent design just meant a logical and well structured design.
In my defence I'm not religious at all. I had no idea what the term had been stolen and molested in to.

Can we all agree right now to stop using stupid terms like these? I'll be your friend on Facebook if you do.

Woes of a Web Designer

David — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 22:30:50 +0000

Woe No!

I make a beautiful website design for these people and what do they give me? Terrible, terrible photos! Then they call up saying that they don't like their images. What the hell do you want me to do about it? It's so depressing

Australian Work Ethic

David — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 00:43:49 +0000

Christmas Tree in the middle of Adelaide

Erect a tree in the middle of Victoria Square and don't decorate it. Doing us proud, Australia!

Google and Adobe are ruining the world

David — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 10:36:58 +0000

Back in August I blogged about something that really pisses me off: When applications install in to your C drive regardless of where you tell it to install.

Another thing that is similar and just as heinous is when you download a program, run the installer and then the installer downloads another installer. Again.

Ruination

If this isn't the installer, what is it? An installer for the installer? Redundant much?
I could give a flying fuck if you want me to have the latest version. Create an auto-updater for your software if you want everyone to be on the bleeding edge. I downloaded the setup file because I wanted it to be accessible from anywhere. If I knew this was just going to be a proxy for the real setup I would have just run it from my temp files after it had finished downloading. I chose to save the file so I could use it anywhere and any time. Now I need to be attached to the internet just to install your stupid browser that nobody takes seriously anyway. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, this is Google after all, not exactly king of the software realm. Unfortunately though, they aren't the only ones that do this.

Dear developers: Stop it. Just stop it. It's not clever. It's not cool. It's stupid and you're stupid for thinking it's any good. Just quit it.

C: Drive Usage

David — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 08:36:46 +0000

0 bytes

Continuing today's ragey theme, why the fuck do things require space on the C: drive when I explicitly tell it to install to another drive?

Adobe's Audition music editor is the latest culprit of this stupid and archaic trend. The program requires ~350mb of disk space. During the installation it asks where you want to install it, so I decide to install it on to my 750GB drive I've named Local Data. So you know what it does? It installs about 50mb in to the drive I told it to install in to and the other 300 in to my C. Why? Why even ask me where I want to install it if you're just going to stick it all in C anyway. Fuck you. No wonder I never have any free space on C.

On Clones and Clocks

David — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 10:49:26 +0000

So I was thinking about that whole Keith Urban suing himself over his website dealeo that happened a couple of millennia ago. I was thinking I was, that if I were to ever get famous and find out that another person had exactly the same name as me, I wouldn't sue them. I would legally adopt them as my brother. If that doesn't take, then I'd be more than happy to legally define them as my clone.

Then when I get invited to all the boring parties and functions, I can send the other one instead. When the party organisers get upset I'd get my PR agent to say that we got our wires crossed, and that they should be more specific next time. Then I'd get like, flowers and apology cards and stuff.

I'd have to get them to specify that it's the pretty one that they want, the one that gets all the girls and looks absolutely fabulous all day long. That way there would be no doubt that it is the real me that they want. Sure they might hurt my clone's feelings, but I'm sure he'd get over it and not go on a Hulk-calibre rampage throughout whatever town/city we happened to be close to at the time, killing millions and injuring millions more, only to be assaulted by the various armies of the world until he is ultimately brought down by the love he feels for this one chick he met one time while we were on vacation in Tibet. Not while I'm on the clock!