"I don't have the internet."
Contrary to popular belief, there is no magical "fix your poorly taken photo" button. If your photo looks terrible in your hands, it's going to look terrible when it's scanned.
"I thought you were giving me the Internet? How can you give me a webpage and not give me the Internet!?"
I make a beautiful website design for these people and what do they give me? Terrible, terrible photos! Then they call up saying that they don't like their images. What the hell do you want me to do about it? It's so depressing